Frustrated Fiction

Add this to your “must read” list

admin — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:22:53 +0000

My father sent me a link today to a website titled “How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack” which is, in my opinion, one of my new favorite websites. HOWEVER, I would also love to read this book, which from the excerpts on said website, lead me to believe will be hilarious.

E.B. likes Banana Peppers

admin — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 23:20:16 +0000

Check it out!

Best. School bus. Ever.

admin — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:00:32 +0000

I saw this in the middle of the night and I thought “ooooh yeah, this is sweeeeeet. JET BUS!” Love it like a redneck should.

Interesting weather reports from Russia, Pakistan

admin — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:11:06 +0000

Apparently, the insanely above average temperatures in Russia and the heavy rains in Pakistan might be directly related. Huh. Imagine that.

Requiem for a Laptop

admin — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:00:41 +0000

We spent so much time together, lying in bed and surfing the Internet, editing photos and filling my life with dreams and aspirations. You always showed me exactly what I needed to see, helped me find my voice as I typed furiously into the wee hours of the night.

But then one morning, you went to sleep and you didn’t wake back up.

I don’t understand what happened. I keep pushing your buttons but you won’t do anything. You just lie there, cold and dead, staring back at me without any light and I feel like I’m going to cry.

“Come back, come back,” I say again and again as I try, without any luck, to bring you back. “Please come back.”

Alas, all is lost now, the cause is lost. This is why I use Google Docs.

Norman Rockwell models meet up

admin — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 16:00:55 +0000

Here’s an awesome piece from the NY Times: people who acted as models for Norman Rockwell met up in Vermont.

I find these sorts of stories extremely interesting.

Lobster in his pants

admin — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:00:44 +0000

I can only imagine what the 911 call about a man who was spearfishing in lobster sounded like, especially when the Florida Marine and Wildlife guys came upon this man with two lobster tails in his pants.

My Dad sent this to me, and I thought “this definitely fits into a pants stuffing trifecta.” However, we’re holding out until the end of the week to see what else happens to be stuffed into some pants.

Previous posts involving things in pants: McDonald’s sandwiches and a hammer.

Jell-O keyboard and mouse joke

admin — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 04:00:07 +0000

Oh yes, I could see this happening to someone I know and love one day after they get back from vacation. So long as I don’t go overboard with it.

Literary Pickup Lines

admin — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 19:03:13 +0000

You have no idea how much fun it was to read this list of 25 literary pickup lines. I think I might have to try on this one:

Hey, baby, the sun is not the only thing that also rises.

No, not really. That’s just sad.

Brings a whole new meaning to “hammer pants”

admin — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 17:45:27 +0000

This is one fantastic: a pregnant woman in La Crosse, Wisc., woman tried to rob a taco fast-food joint with a hammer. During the attempted “armed robbery,” the woman got a hammer she brought along as a weapon stuck in her pants and THEN RAN FROM THE STORE losing her pink slippers in the process. Police caught up with her a few blocks later.

Her reason for trying to rob the restaurant: drug money.

Sad indeed, but my Dad and I have come up with a much more amusing scenario: the next woman we read about will likely have dropped her pants in an attempt to distract customers and employees while pulling money from the register. We can only hope that is happening somewhere in this big bad world of ours right now.